Social Selling Sisterhood Podcast Episode 8: Stay in Your Lane!

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Hi, friend. Welcome to the social selling sisterhood podcast. I am Lindsay Dahling ER and I have many titles High school, Spanish teacher, dog Mom, world traveler and direct seller. I empower women to run your direct sales businesses the right way. You can earn the money. You deserve to live the life of your dreams and travel the world. Now we got that out of the way. Let's get started. Hello. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. Today we're going to talk about staying in your lane State in your lane, girl. So I like Teoh. Picture this visually as me driving in my car and I'm in salmon rush hour traffic and things were going on all around me. Am I looking left and right? Am I looking at scenery or am I focusing on what I am doing and how I am driving and what I need to dio, Okay. And so the answer, obviously is you should be focusing on your own car on yourself on if you need to slow down. If you need to speed up, if it's safe for you to merge left and right, and stop worrying about with the car, five lanes back or four lanes forward is doing right. So you need to stay in your lane and this can look like all sorts of things. Okay, so we can need to stay in our lane because we are, for example, comparing ourselves to other people. This one is really, really hard, Especially if you are a competitive person or I find for women in general, we compare ourselves to others, right? If you're a the beach, you're looking at someone else's body and their swimsuit, and you're comparing it to your own. You're looking at someone else's makeup. Is their makeup done better than you? Um I mean, any sorts of things we're constantly comparing ourselves whether we realize we're doing it or not. The same thing goes for a business. So I do this all the time, and I'm not. I'm not even gonna lie, especially when I'm listening to a company wide training. And you know how they always introduce themselves at the beginning. And they're like, Oh, I'm so and so. And I am a national executive director, and I just joined to six months ago, and you're like, what? Wait, what did she just say She's just going to six months ago? And she's a national executive director, right? And so then automatically that imposter syndrome starts kicking in. And you're like, What is she doing that I'm not? Um, and there's definitely a place for that, because you definitely wanna learn from those people who are sharing how they have gotten to where you want to be. That's not what I'm talking about, But I'm talking about that time. Weren't it creeps into your head that like, Oh, everyone else's further than me that is joined when I joined or everyone else has more parties than I have. Everyone else has more people in their V. I P Group or everyone else's posts on their personal page get more likes than mine do. What am I doing wrong? And here's the thing that most likely you're probably not doing anything wrong. Okay, it tests takes time. Everyone gets to their end goal in a different way and in a different speed. So stop comparing yourself to others, especially if it's starting to make it, um, to make you feel negative about your business, any sort of negative thoughts toward your business are not gonna help you grow now. There's nothing wrong, though, with competing with yourself or even a little friendly competition among your team. Or, you know, your accountability, buddy. Hopeful. You have one of those that you check in with, but there's nothing wrong with that little bit of competition for like, Okay, so say, for example, I have $3000 in sales last month. This month, I want to try to beat it. I'm always trying to be what I did the previous month, because I'm always trying to move my business forward and my business forward quicker, so there's nothing wrong with that. That's still me staying in my lane, right? But staying in my lane does not look like me starting to drift off the side of the road because I am in awe of what Kelly did when she reached in a rank that I am still trying to reach. And I have been in my company two years, and she she got in six months. I can learn from Kelly. I can see how she's driving. I can see the different gears she's putting her car in. I'm just trying to come up with car analogies, and it's kind of really hard because I do not know cars. But anyway, um, I can see what she's doing and how she's maneuvering the roads. Maybe she she knew a shortcut that I didn't know That's different than me watching what she's doing and drifting off the side of the road because I'm not paying attention to my own business, right? So another way this might come up is to not worry about what others doing and what I'm getting at with. This is, say, you see someone selling something your product illegally on Facebook marketplace or you see them selling it on eBay, where you see them posting specials that you're not allowed to post doing anything that's against your company's policies and procedures. My kind of you about that is, if it's someone in my down line, someone who I have sponsored or someone on my team, I'll reach out. I'll just say, Hey, you probably didn't know. I try to always start that way. You probably didn't know this, but we're actually not allowed to do you know, Excellency, that they're doing and nine hands out of 10 they'll say, Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, I took it down or I whatever. I had no idea, because that's part of the learning process, right? So you always want to assume, in a sense, when someone is doing something that's against your policies and procedures. Now, if it's someone that's not on my team, unless it's something like really horrifically hort Perfectly horrible. Um, just something that's like, really bad that can hurt a lot of people on your team or like that person could lose their business over. I probably wouldn't reach out. You know, I just bless and release. Sometimes I can, you know, you can let your apply nowhere that I'm sure there is a place you can report it to your company if you really feel impelled to do that. But one of my biggest models, my business not only for this, but for a lot of you know, anything negative that comes up or anything that I don't necessarily agree with. Bless and release, Blessing release and my sponsor. My last company actually taught me that it took me a long time to actually be ableto do that. But I found if I was able to bless and release and not dwell on it. Not be constantly looking at that person's eBay accountant, seeing that they're still selling selling nails for $5 than were not allowed to sell nails on eBay. All for example. You know, that's just taking my time and my energy from my own business, my own team, and I'm got time for that. I don't know about you, but my energy is precious, and I'm trying to put all of my spare energy into building my business the way I want to build it. So blessing, Really? So someone's doing something they're not supposed to be doing, especially if it doesn't affect you personally in any way. And it's not someone on your team. Whatever. You know, someone else, something that caramel come back to them in some other way. So but those blinders on now we talk about what staying in your lane can look like with these blinders on. So it can be really difficult, especially if you are just starting in direct sales network marketing. Or maybe maybe this is your second or third company, and you've never really quite hit that success. You want to to worry about what others are thinking of you. Now. This one was a really hard one for me. Actually, when I transition to my current company because I had tried, I don't even know 567 companies before this one. So I really had this. It's not really even imposter syndrome. I don't know what you call it, but you know, this fear of, you know, my friends are going to see me selling another product because I had already gotten those comments before. Oh, what are you selling now? So what are you selling now? And actually, um, a guy I work with older guys who doesn't even have social media. So I know people are talking about me and telling him this because there's no other way he would know It said to me at lunch this past school year. Hey, do you sell 31 which I've never sold 31. And I was like, Uh, no, I'm you know, I've never done handbags or anything like that, and he's like, Oh, well, this woman from my church one wanted to buy some, and I said, I have a lady at work that sells everything I just laughed it off. But do you done inside? I was a little mortified. I'm like, Oh, my gosh, you know, because everyone think of me is this person who sells everything cause I've been selling these dry nail polish troops guys for, like, 2. 5 years, And that's the only thing that I'm in. Um, so anyway, even I get these moments where, you know, people say stuff and I, like, still happen. Like what? Where would he even get that? Because I never bring, you know, my sails into my workplace. I'm a teacher. I keep things completely separate, and he doesn't even have social media. So I know people are talking about me, but that's where one the blenders come on. And two, it's not really that bad of the thing. If people are talking about you like I mean, he was totally going to get me business from this woman from his church that I had no idea who was right. If I had sold 31 he definitely would've hooked me up. Um, but just remembering that one. If people are talking about you, it's kind of like when celebrities are big names post things that are controversial and they go viral and people are talking about them or big companies do things like Nike did something last year. Forget what it waas and, um, you know, their name was all over the press. It's smart marketing, right is really sort Mary's free marketing for them. So put those blinders on. You know, no one else is paying your bills. No one else is deciding what is making you happy. And it's fulfilling certain needs in your life. No one else is earning that free trip for you right there, all jealous that you're earning that trip for your company. And, heck, they've never gotten a free trip. So don't worry about what others think of you. And obviously, it's a natural human instinct to feel that, like, pit in my stomach like, Oh gosh, everyone thinks I sell everything. But clearly he didn't know, like he had no idea that I hadn't won. Never sold from that company into whatever I had sold. Um, so, you know, laugh it off. Keep going on with my business. Did I let that comment affect anything that I was doing? Nope. Not at all. All right. Another thing with blinders is if you have some kind of drama in your team or in your company. If someone eyes negative in your team negative, like your customer, list your customer base or say someone's really getting in your head, that will probably more from your team less from a customer. But I really encourage you just to try to brush it off. Obviously, there something's especially with your team that you're gonna want Teoh to Ah, what's the what's the same? I'm gonna say Nip nip in the bud, but, uh, to stop to stop that. Put that, you know, squash it immediately. So knock on wood. You'll him re knocking, probably in the podcast. But the drama on my team is is loaded? None. And I'm really proud of that. I think a lot of that comes from attracting the right people to our tribe, being really transparent about things, apologizing if something goes wrong, you know, accepting that things don't always go right. And accepting that as a leader and sharing that with my team, I think there's lots of pieces that come in with that. But you know, if there is something going on, especially if it doesn't pertain to you. So this is kind of going back to that. Like if there's someone that you've seen posting things that they're not supposed to post or whatnot, that doesn't pertain to you, like, kind of try to stay out of it, to be perfectly honest, because all that's going to do if you put yourself into that drama is you're putting your energy there instead of focusing on girl in your business. You know, we only have a certain amount of time in the day. Everyone does, and everyone has the same amount of time. So do you think that those leaders at the top of your company or the top of any company are spending time on the drama? No, they're not. They are. They're building their business and their meeting new people. They're building relationships with people and they're putting their time and their energy where it matters. It doesn't matter that so and so did something that you don't like that someone so said something in a way that offended you. Um, and I guarantee probably a lot of it is just Miss Red because a lot of what we do is on social media. So you know, someone doesn't throw a happy face emoji at the end of at the end of something to convey that what they're saying isn't coming off is rude, but they're actually trying to help you That can be taken different ways from different people. So try to ignore that drama. Try not to get into it. If you have said something that has offended someone or has been taken the wrong way, just apologize. Own up to it and let it go. Move on. You know, some of the best friendships can come from your teams and come from your customers, and you don't want them to be ruins because you you were too big to say that you were sorry. So brush that off. Um, drama and company. That one could be kind of tricky because that's actually why I left one of my companies. But I didn't leave it at first, right? So I encourage you stick things through cos we're gonna have their bad days, cos they're gonna have times where possibly they get in trouble where they get fined for something. Maybe the company's CEO is going to misspeak and it's gonna offend you. But one of the companies that I left, I just didn't feel mind with anymore. I felt icky about them. I felt picky about what they were telling us. I didn't trust them. So when when that happens, that's when you have to kind of look back back and say, You know, am I really aligned with this company with their with the outcomes that they have in the goals they have? And if not that, then it's probably time that consider a switch. But otherwise, you know, stick it out. Cos have growing pains, and as long as it's not morally something that you feel really against, um, definitely have some conversations with your up lines about that. Next, I want to remind you, um, and this this is kind of probably where will start to wrap it up a little bit. Just focus on your own outcomes and goals. I really encourage you to, and I love saying this. I say it all the time. If you're not in my social selling sisterhood squad free Facebook group, I think I have a schedule post coming up that is encouraging people to do 1% more. Just do 1% more in your business. So as you're sitting down and you're thinking about your outcomes and goals for the week and I like to do in weekly guys, I like to write it out that I'm gonna sponsor one new lady. I'm going to have, you know, $1000 in sales this week. Do I always hit those? Absolutely not. But I do monthly goals. I do yearly goals, and I do a weekly goal and I rewrite them every Sunday. So focus on your own outcomes and goals. How are you going to improve your team this week? How are you going to keep growing and then add 1% more to that? Are you gonna talk to Do you normally talk to 20 people a week? Well, this week you're gonna talk to 22. Okay, Um, and keep doing your personal development and improving yourself, and that will help a lot with staying in your own lane. You know, if you're focused on your own business and you were focused on improving yourself and improving your strategies and your knowledge, you're not gonna have time for the other stuff. This is also where having a strong white comes in eso if you know why you joined your business. If you know why you keep working your business And if you know why you want to go where you're going because you will get that friend you totally Well, then, you're also not gonna have time to take those blinders off and look around and check what other people are doing. This is super important. So whether you need to have a mantra up on your mirror or on your phone, put a put in a motivational thing on your screen saver on your phone. Or maybe put your goals for the month. So you see them every time. I mean, we're all on our phones so much so if you have that on there and you see it every day, you know that's totally gonna get in your mind. Say those mantra is out loud. The sound so silly. I remember in fourth grade we had issues like a counselor or someone come into her classroom. We pushed all the desks to the sides of the room, and this is so weird because I don't have very memory. Very many many memories of fourth grade, but so the deaths were all pushed around. She had all of this get on the floor and we laid flat on her back and we, like, spread our arms and legs out. And she did this exercise, which is very similar to, I think, like meditation or like it's a relax ation technique. But basically, like she walked us through all of our energy, going from like our head all the way out through our fingertips and through our toes and did all this breathing and stuff. Um, and then she had us say, I am going to make today great and she said, You have to smile when you say it And then she told us once we were done with everything that we should say it every morning, toe ourselves, whether that's in a shower. If we take morning showers or look in the mirror and say and put a smile on your face. Guys, I literally have done that. Not every day, but I have done that, especially when I catch myself in a low point where you know, I need a little pick me up. I told I still do that I do it Aton in the shower. I'm gonna make today great. And I always make sure to smile and do it. Um, and there's just something about that that can really turn around your day, really turn around a positive mindset. So have some sort of mantra. You know, I am a I am amazing at sponsoring women on my team. I attract high quality business building women on my team. I am a top network marketing leader. I am a millionaire, you know, whatever your mantra is, I am confident. I am beautiful. I am. Were the all those air mantra So look up. Some mantra is if you can't think of them but say them as though you are them. I am going to make today great. Um, journal. You can journal too. Have a journal, have a gratitude journal. Write these things down. I like to share my goals and I like to share my outcomes and goals for the week somewhere publicly. So I put them in that social selling sisterhood squad Facebook group. I share them with my team. I you know, I let people know I share them with my mentor ship group because once it's out there in the universe, one is more likely to happen and to you have other people who are gonna hold you accountable. Now, not everything is sunshine and rainbows. I totally get that. So you got your blinders on. But all these things were happening And you you just need to let it all out. You need to have someone you can vent, Teoh. And while journaling is great, I'm not gonna lie during. You know, journaling is great, but you need to have someone you convinced, too. And you need to have the right space to do it. Your team pages are not the place to do it. Your team group chats are not the place to do it. Someone, This is one singular person that you convinced Teoh and the general rule is that you vent up. So while I have a really, really close friend in my down line, her name's Joe. Me and we do a lot together. I usually went to her a lot. I'm kind of breaking that cardinal rule because she is technically my down line. Um, but I don't I don't vent down. I don't send people messages in my down line and say, Oh my gosh, someone So it's a little like, you know, you just don't do it. So you need to have someone. You convince you this could be your accountability partner. This can be your up line. I hardly encourages Europe line. If you have that kind of relationship, it could be a friend. Your spouse, I don't know, but it's not your team page, and it is not a group chat. So if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all in those spaces. Do your five minute pity party. Um, I learned one time I think I remember if this was at a conference or applying, told me this one time, but that she would say, Um, get in your Ferrari and take your five minute test drive and come back and get out of it. So your five minute pity party Here's the keys. Go drive your Ferrari. Um, you know, do your test drive, come back and then it's done. So do your five minute pity party. Get the negativity out and then we're done. We're moving on. We're brainstorming. We're getting back to work. We're finding a way to solve whatever problem we have, and then we're done complaining about it. Another thing that you can do is surround yourself with people who you don't feel like you are competing with. So maybe these air people on your team who are who are in a similar spot with you or maybe slightly ahead. But, um, surround yourself with people who you don't feel like you're always last, right? So while you do want to also surround yourself with people that encourage you to do better and to grow, if you're finding yourself being negative to yourself, are really getting yourself down about that. Then you need to have a little group that that you don't feel competitive with, and that doesn't necessarily pretend everyone. But if that's you, you know who you are if you need that and find that group. But they also need to be encouraging, and they need to make you feel supported. Those are very important. Okay, guys, and lasting where your focus goes, your energy flows. So if you're focusing on the negative, if you're focusing on other people, you're gonna find the negative. You're gonna find that your business isn't growing cause you've been looking at other people's businesses. Yours isn't going to get the energy if you're not focusing on it. If you're not being positive, that positive energy isn't flowing. If you are not focusing on sales when you need to be, then you're not gonna probably get the sales. Same thing with recruiting. People aren't just gonna fall into your into your team. They're not just gonna message you wanting to join. While Yes, that happens from time to time. It's not the norm. So you need to put in that time and focus energy on those things. If that is part of your goal. If you say that you want to be, I'm just on the throttle rank. You want to be a director next year in my team company? That's I don't know. Maybe five ranks up and you're at the bottom rank right now. Are you gonna need to focus on recruiting? Yeah, absolutely. So you need to find a nice balance. And that's something you can definitely work with. Europe line with Teller. Hey, you know I want to work in recruiting next month or I really want to get to director. What do I need to dio? Chances are you're gonna be needing to split your time between sales and recruiting and just a hint. If you're in party business, this is going to mean throwing more parties. So I've talked before about if you're hosting 10 parties, you can kind of expect to work crew 1 to 2 people a month. And if you're hosting those parties, then obviously your sales, they're gonna come. So maybe you need to be focusing on parties with an emphasis on recruiting because the sales just naturally will come, come with parties. So I want you to think about that as well. Where your focus goes, your energy flows, and that's where you gonna see results. All right, friends, I hope this was helpful. I hope this is helping your mindset shift to stay in your own lane to get your own your own. I was just gonna say a bad word. I can't say bad words on this podcast. Your your own business goals dying. Accomplish what you want to accomplish and what you can accomplish. And remember, you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to, so don't give up. Stay in your lane. Don't give up. You got this. Alright, guys, if you love this episode, it would mean the world to me. If you would give it a rating and review on iTunes and then take a screenshot share, it makes your teams know about this podcast with guys. What? You're not gonna go anywhere if your team is growing and improving as well. So make sure you're sharing this with your team. Make sure, especially if you know someone that needs to stay in their lane. Maybe don't something first like the last one, and then they're gonna like it. They're gonna listen to this one. It's not like to passive aggressive, you know. But anyway, please share this. I would love it. Love it. And thank you so much for giving me your time. Don't forget to check out the social selling sisterhood slot. A Facebook group as well. If linked in the show notes, I throw the post on there every day to give you some sort of motivation and encouragement for the day. So definitely check it out. I have a great day, guys. Bye bye.