The Social Selling Sisterhood Podcast Episode 62: Self-Care and Doing the Hard Things with Holly Boyce

This post was transcribed using AI.

Yeah. Hi friend, Welcome to the social selling sisterhood podcast. I am Lindsay Dellinger and I have many titles, High school spanish teacher, dog mom, world traveler and direct seller. I empower women to run your direct sales business is the right way. So you can earn the money, you deserve to live the life of your dreams and travel the world. Now we got that out of the way. Let's get started. Hello, Hello Lindsay Dollinger here with my friend holly boys and guys, I'm so excited for you to meet her. Um I met holly in Our master minds that we are just finishing up from 2022 beginning in 2021. Um so we met virtually for a really long time and then we had the pleasure of meeting in person at a retreat. Um my action was almost a month ago now ish like three weeks a month ish. Yeah, anyway, it was almost a month ago, I can't believe it, so is the host of our hostess. I always get confused with that, but um the surviving life podcast and she's also a health and wellness coach. So I'm super excited for you to hear her story and hear all the tidbits she is going to give us today, so holly welcome. What's up? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am so excited to be here and uh see your shining face again. I feel like we're like long sorority sisters that I never gonna be any already, but if I was, I would have been in yours. Yeah, of course you would have been. We would have been sisters um holly, So tell us how you got to do all the hats that I just mentioned, Tell us a little bit about you, your background and how you got to where you're at today. Oh man. Um well it was a cold day in 1979. No, I'm just kidding. I okay, so well first off I guess I should start back 10 years ago, I had breast cancer. Um I found a lump accidentally on thanksgiving day as I was kind of adjusting my shirt and it was like a ping pong ball um under my right breast and inside of it and it was like It was huge, I mean I was shocked, I was like what the heck is this thing? It moved around and all that good stuff and then you know, fast forward about a month um December 22, they were like we need to take this out and we're gonna buy upset when we take it out. And so I was like first available appointment, I'll take it, I don't care. Um Probably looking back, I should've waited till after christmas because unfortunately that's how like non cancer I was thinking this thing was um and so they took it out and sure enough, three days before christmas I find out I have cancer and kind of put a little bit from christmas that year. Um and at the time my kids were only two and 5 so they were little babies and I was saying you were so young, yeah just turned 30 and was like okay well here we go. I guess now I'm a cancer patient today and that was insane and you know, fast forward 10 years or so and a whole lot of chemo and radiation in the whole nine yards of Of treatment. I'm now 10 years cancer free, which is very cool. Uh Huh. A whole lot smarter I'd like to think anyway. Um But yeah, so I way back 10 years ago when I was when I when I found out I had treatment or had to go through treatment, I was in the family service field. So I was working with at risk youth and families helping them make healthy life choices, help them kind of be ready for schooling and things like that in the future. I was working in the early childhood field with family services and I finished my cancer treatment and I just didn't want to do that anymore. I mean, I just I felt like I was dropped back into my old life, probably very similarly to people feeling right now post covid, they're like having to go back and do all these jobs that they used to do and everything used to work before, and all of a sudden it just didn't. And I was this different person in my same life and was kind of forced to deal with this new normal. And when I did that, I decided I was like, I don't I don't want to be in this field anymore. And I loved it when I went in, but I just it wasn't working. Yeah, and so I decided to kind of go into health and fitness because I wanted to be on the planet as long as possible, That's really the only motivation that I had, was like, well I want to learn how to eat healthy exercise, and I was pretty much, you know, like, I wouldn't say that I was unhealthy before, but I just really was more interested in remaining on the planet as long as um you know, the Good Lord allowed me to be, So I switched careers and decided to go into health and fitness. People laughed at me, they were like, um isn't that like a hobby or something? And I was like so rude. You know people just like, well you're telling business you go into your all excited to start this direct selling business and you're like yeah I'm gonna be doing nails and look at all this stuff and I'm gonna make money and doing something that I love and it's fun and people are like, oh well isn't that like a hobby, like that's not a job? And they just kind of like, I don't know and I don't know if it's just because sometimes people what they can't do um and they don't think is possible in life. They project out onto you. And so it really is what I think um is what was happening I guess. Um But you know just like anything, I just had to take that little you know with a great assault and go well you know, I'm gonna do it anyway. I don't care what you say. And uh, luckily I did you girl? Yeah. It was hard though. I mean hard. You know, it's the same, it's the same type of deal. And then I just was like, um, doing a lot in the health and fitness world. I was a personal trainer. Um, and still I am a certified personal trainer, nutrition coach, all that good stuff. And I worked in gyms. I worked out of my garage for a while, like doing my own thing. And I just finally got to the point after six years of opening my own, um, personal training studio training cancer patients and was literally living my dream life. I thought I had everything I had ever worked for. And then Covid hit and then I had to close my studio down and then I was, you know, faced with yet another, um, this time, the transition was not because I wanted it. It was because it was forced. And so, um, that me too kind of sit and re evaluate what I was doing. And I had always wanted to podcast and um, had all the equipment and all that good stuff and I had a lot of time on my hands and quarantine. And so I'd go hide in my closet and record podcasts. And um, when I released them, people were like, oh, this is really good. You have a, you have a really good voice. And I'm, I'm laughing because I've hated my voice in my whole life. Like everything about it. I, I love your voice just so weird. I'm like, oh, that's a weird thing to say. I'm like, I have a face for radio. I guess you do look very radio? S right now on the video guys you see on the podcast. She's got her like set up, she's got her, what do you call it? Like the spit guard, I have one of those upstairs, it's called pop broker. And I was looking for my head from, I don't usually have my big old headphones on too. But yeah, I did all, I did all of that for like my first month of recording and I got so lazy, I like my airpods and I'm using like garageband. I'm like, it's good enough. I love it well, and podcasting was something that I had no idea. I was going to love so much and I had no idea that people were actually going to like it and let alone down and listen to it, you know? So I was like, well, I guess we're going to go down a new path and uh, the health and wellness stuff will never leave, which is why I still do health and wellness coaching and I still am definitely very much in that world keeping my certifications and all that stuff because that is still very important to me. Um, and yeah, so that's that's where I am, and now I just kind of get to talk to people all day long and like, this is my dream life just, you've pivoted, you've pivoted every time that you're, something doesn't align or your passions change. I love that you weren't and I'm sure you felt very afraid, but lots of people let their fear of changing things or of other people's opinions or X, y z stop them from doing the things that they're passionate about, but at least what it appears you have not done that. And I respect that so much because a lot of people cannot say that a lot of people are stuck in jobs that they hate because they're afraid to leave them. A lot of people, you know, it's just so many things and you're like, well, let's give it a try. And if it doesn't work then we'll pivot again. It is good, It is good. And it is very frustrating at times as well. So, I mean, I'm definitely, definitely human and luckily I don't project too much of that out on social media. So you probably wouldn't have seen that my poor husband, now, he may tell you a different story crying. He goes, yeah. But yeah, I think I really think part of the, the reason I was able to do that is probably I could probably dated back to cancer maybe even before that. But I've always been kind of a living a survivor's life in some way, shape, or form. I mean, I had a had a fantastic childhood, but then I had this really toxic relationship pop in there and kind of went into this survival mode, finally was able to, you know, move out of that. And then, you know, here I am dealing with um cancer and then finally move out of that. And then my husband loses his job, and then we have to move out of that. And so I've always had to kind of do that. So, I I would never choose those things. I would like, definitely. I'm good because I've had to do it so many times, but it's not necessarily by by choice, but what I've done, I think um at the end of each, at the end of each of these times, or even in the middle of these times, has tried to take something from all the things in life. So if it's a great moment of my life, I'm going to take a lesson from that and how can I have more moments like this? And if it's a really crappy time of life then I'm going to take a lesson like how do I not do that again? And then I'm gonna tell everybody because I don't want you to waste your time. Like don't waste as much time as I have if you can learn anything, like just um you know, I tell that to my team so much, I'm like this is what happened to me when I did X. Y. Z. Or when I wasn't doing this in my business, I got this results are these lack of results. Like you don't have to listen to me, you can do it however you want, but I'm just letting you know this is my experience. Um Well everyone heard it, you've heard it once before. And so even if you do go start to make those decisions again, you might stop a little bit quicker than you would have before. And my my definition of success has always been that successful. People correct quicker. So it's not that we don't make mistakes. It's not that we don't do things wrong or um you know, fail. I hate fail as a word, but it's not that we don't do any of those things, but it's we catch ourselves faster every single time. And I take that same approach with health and fitness. It's it's not about not ever making the wrong choice. It's it's more about catching yourself in the moment, figuring out why you're making that choice. What's making you automatically make that choice? Because it's usually baggage. it's usually um you know, things that we've brought with us from the past or it's a pattern of behavior that's been working for you in some way shape or form. Whether it's a good pattern or not doesn't matter, it's just been working and the only way you can break a pattern of behavior is to recognize it and then do something different over and over and over again until it's then the new behavior is automatic and then right so holly knows this because she's actually my health and fitness coach. I just hired her and I started her small group coaching program. Um But in case everyone else didn't know that now you do so holly will you share kind of along the lines of what you just mentioned about bad habits? Because I know I feel like I don't have necessarily like the baggage tried to like eating poorly or not working out that maybe some other people might identify more with, but mine is just more those bad habits, so especially as a business bisney busy, I've been thinking about Disney too much out of Disney, um a busy entrepreneur who's working full time, I have my direct sales business, I have my coaching business. Um What are some tips for other women like me who have these bad habits, whatever they are eating poorly, not sleeping enough or just anything with their health and putting on the back burner. How can you, what are some things that we can do to help change those bad habits are good habits, the things that we want um so that we can perform better? Yeah, so I kind of break down my, my term health into three pieces. So I look at it from a fitness um like physical movement piece, and then I look at it as a nutrition piece and then I look at it as a mind set as its own separate area because those three pieces to me are kind of like um what I think it was, Michelle said the golden triangle of you know, like you have all three of those pieces, you're good to go. But I look at those in three different areas and so what I think you first have to really do is you have to look at those things hard, look at those things yourself and go If I was going to give myself a score 1-10 in fitness in food and in in mindset, what would it be? And, you know, no judgment as to what it is, if it's a wonder if it's 10 doesn't matter, but a quick like judgment of what it is for that moment and then what's gonna make it better? So like, OK, say fitness, we we go five. I'm just feeling like I have a five and fitness right now. All right. Well, like what would make it go up to attend? What would even make it go up to a seven, you know, just a couple points more? Well, most of the time we can kind of break that down and self analyze what it is that we need. It's just the accountability piece that we don't always follow through with. Um But in terms of fitness, As long as you're moving your body every day, ideally. I mean, every day, I know that people are like, what she's saying seven days a week. I don't like one marathons every day. I just mean like, let's move. I mean, that could be 3, 10 minute breaks of squats in between your clients or in between whatever it is that you're doing at work or school or wherever your, wherever you're at in the day, or it could be an hour long, you know, workout session. Um But moving your body daily is really important also for your brain. Like if you're sitting for a long period of time to break that day up and really get the most out of your, your brain and your productivity, you're gonna need little breaks to get your heart rate up anyway. So just, I love cordless jump ropes. You can like jump rope and do your um just five minutes of marching around the room, jump roping, and just to get that little spike and heart rate and really go back to whatever it is that you're doing and be more productive. Um In terms of fitness. I mean food food food is an interesting one because we all have our own um history of where we've come from with food. Um Sometimes food is used as like as big celebrations. Sometimes food is um this big no topic like you know, you have to eat this, this and this and sometimes it's very tied with, you know, family beliefs and culture beliefs and there's so many things and layers with food. But what you really need to do is look at it like is this is what I'm doing in my food right now serving me. Is this working? I mean because most of the time we can answer that pretty honestly when we can go well, not really or yeah, it's working fine, you know, whatever. And if it's not, if you really even have any tiny inkling that it's not and most of us could probably improve on this area anyway. Um, Almost everybody and our american diet is not super fabulous anyway, but just little, little habit changes are going to go a long way. Um, but being consistent with those little habit changes. So one thing that I told you guys and the group coaching program is really planning out anything that you're going to have, um, so you don't have to think about it, you're busy, all of you guys that are listening to the show, I'm sure are busy, this, this mayor and it may not be your second job or your side hustle or maybe your full time job. It doesn't, you're busy all day long. We're making decisions over and over and over again, so the least amount of decisions that we can make the better, right? So we want to have everything just almost on autopilot in a healthy way and when we can go on autopilot in a healthy way and I have a drawer full of snacks that are already packaged. Um That's one thing I tell people all the time, I'm like, get a handful of different healthy snacks in a clear container in your pantry or in your drawer at work or whatever immediately wherever you're at most of the day. Um do like little tiny ziplock bags of carrots already made. Um Do like, if you're gonna make granola bars or like the little uh oh my gosh, what? I can't think what they're called right now, balls, the protein balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, um yeah, make them and back them up ahead of time. Or if you're going to go to the store and buy healthier snacks with low sugar content, ideally the less sugar, the butter, um put those all in a container so there grab and go ready. So that way when you don't have time you're rushing out the door, you didn't have time for breakfast. You can at least grab something that that you've got healthy options that are ready to grab and go, why do you think we always choose the things on the shelf because they're ready? They're already packaged their prepackaged, ready to grab. Of course I can grab like a granola bar full of sugar or bag of fruit snacks or something like hopefully that's all you're eating for breakfast. But I mean like I think about your kids, if you have kids, it's the same thing, that's the things that they're grabbing and going because that's what's what's there. So if we do that with intention, with some healthier options already made um then we're gonna have a lot more success. And that's a tiny change that you can do that will go a long way um Over time it's just that planning and that prepping for sure. Um like when you just said that about carrots and like I have a bag of carrots in there that I need to wash and put in little baggies and they've been in there since saturday death at the bottom, yep, they're in the drawer of death and I honestly, I don't even remember I had them until you just said that and I was like, hey, I meant I've been doing that, I had one in there too, I have a bag of carrots in my drawer of death as well, that I just, oh well I just don't remember to see, you know different, but you know what's funny is that what happens and, and this is a perfect example of what happens. I order my order on my groceries and have them delivered through Instacart. Um It just saves me time and I'm like just like you, I'm busy all day long doing something so I don't want to go to the store. Um but even if you go to the store as soon as you get home or as soon as your order is delivered, wash them and put them in the bags because this is exactly what just happened to me. I bought that stuff last week um and had it delivered last week and then I threw it down there because I didn't have time that particular moment to do it. I'm like I'll do it later and here I am. I mean they're still okay to eat but they might not be for much longer if I don't do something about it. Great. Got to get those out. I'm telling you, it's so easy to do that drawer of death. I hate, I hate that drum. Just need to be changed completely. They put that drop at the top so I can like see it. Yeah, well, and here's what I noticed like, so if you have kids or, and this is very, very much true, but even ourselves, if you have those carrots bagged and ready to go and you have little cups of Hamas from Costco right next to it or um if you just have um I like to a lot of times drop up celery and put a little bit of cream cheese on it if I haven't already done and I can just grab it and I will be 10 times more likely to eat it when I did that. The kids, the first time, they would never eat the carrots that were in the bottom of the drawer, the drawer of death or whatever, but the second I started bagging them and putting them in up at eye level, as soon as they open the fridge, that's what they see, they ate all of them every time. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is crazy. Because what we see in front of us is what we are immediately think we're just that kind of society now, you know like instant, you know, we need it done. So if you can be intentional about the snacks and the food and things like that that you're having. Um it's helpful and I think if you schedule time to plan your food, just like you scheduled time to do everything else in your life, uh that's what we do each week as well, sit down and go, okay, this is what I'm gonna have for the week, I'm gonna get my grocery list made as a result of what I've just planned for my meals. And then I'm gonna plug in my workouts on my calendar, like their doctor's appointments because that's an appointment with myself. Yeah. Yeah it's helpful I think and I don't use instant car just because we live so far away, but now I'm wondering if I sit down and plan everything out and then at least just order pick up for me to pick up something. I'm like that might be so good because then I'm not buying stuff, it's not on my meal plan list, you know what I mean? And plus it saves time. And I've always liked going to the grocery. That sounds really weird. It's kind of like my like no I know, you know get her out of our, especially if I go to like the target grocery where I'm really going to. Target, not really the grocery part of it, you know? Um But I'm like as far as being better about making choices, that definitely might be something I need to try out for sure. I think it's helpful. I think it's helpful to because you're not wandering around the store going, oh, I could totally make this with that and then this would be good. And then you go like if you go when you're hungry to the store, uh news, like I want all the things right? But if you go and you do a pickup, I think you'll save money too because you're not going to make that for sure. Um And then you can schedule your target appointments for another time or right before you pick up you can wander, pick up your food on the way out to stay off the food side. Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna try it is, it is target and like target time marshall's time. I like make it like a whole like, are yours are too, because, so are are, that's weird. Oh yeah, they do that on the same, yep. Okay, so then the third thing you were talking about is mindset, what are some mind that tips you can have for us? So I would say like the base of everything, probably everything that I've ever done in my life has stemmed from gratitude and I think that's a really good place to start and it sounds really simple to just go, we'll be grateful for something every single day. Um, but it actually is, it really is like a muscle. Um, and it's more than just saying, you know, I'm thankful for My kids are, I'm thankful for, um, you know, this, this podcast opportunity or whatever it is, it's more than that. It's actually making an intentional time where you're going to write that down. So, um, when I had cancer um 10 years ago, I sat there on day like, three after I found out and cried my eyes out, right, I bargained with the Lord and said, you know, just take this away and I'll do whatever you want or whatever. And then, you know, I'm like, well, and then I got mad and then I was like, why isn't someone in jail having cancer instead of me? And, you know, like, trying to I don't know what I was trying to do. I was, no, I get it, I get it. Yeah. And uh, and it's probably the same watching someone go through it, you're like, this isn't fair. Like, I'm a good person, I shouldn't have to deal with cancer. And so I had my time to do all that and feel all the emotions and I think that's the key. If you're gonna go with gratitude in your life, you still have to feel your emotions. Gratitude doesn't replace feeling emotions. And a lot of people think that it does. Um and that's where, like, positivity and gratitude turns into like a toxic cause that was actually my podcast a couple days ago. But um it's, yeah, it's all about that particular piece, but it can really turn if you don't feel your feelings, so still feel your feelings, but be intentional every day to take a moment of time to be thankful for something. And like I said when I was in the middle of cancer, I had my moment where I was losing it and everything was bad and then I kind of decided, you know what, I got to do something different. I gotta, I gotta be the best cancer patient they've all seen there crying enough. I don't need this. Um I don't want them to be sad and I don't want to be sad this whole time. So I started writing in this journal um every day I forced myself to write something down that was good and this is literally in the middle of chemo treatment. So there were days that I came home and I was like, I'm really thankful my kids lungs are working because they screamed at each other all day, but I know they're working because they're loud, you know, just sarcastic things. And then there were other days that were really, really more heartfelt and then there were other days, I was like, I'm really glad I don't have hair today because it's a hot day, It's 100 outside, you know, it's like that Yeah, open was, there was some forced days where it felt very forced and the gratitude didn't feel real, but I made, I made my mindset create a new habit and I wasn't going to deviate from that habit. So I looked for something every day, even on the worst days when I'm not, you know, I'm, I didn't throw up today, stuff like that, starting with, even in my life is in complete chaos and I'm finding something every day and after like two or three months, my entire outlook on the world changed and it wasn't that any of those problems went away. I still had every single one of those problems. I still had no hair, I still had all the stuff, but The way I was looking at the world changed and the more I looked for gratitude in the day, the more good things came to me to be noticed because what I know about mindset, because I've studied this for 25 years, I've studied the brain in some way, shape or form and your brain wants to support you, that's all it wants to do. Your brains job is to support whatever you say is reality. So if you say reality is, I am um you know, too big in these jeans or if you say I am, I've put on too much weight or I am ugly, I am fat, I am skinny, I am to whatever, you know, whatever you want to insert in there, whatever you say, your brains job now is to find evidence of that. So the more you say, the more your brain supports you with lots of evidence. So the time you're like I look so fat pants, I can't stand the way I look and look. So what is that bringing to my attention how big I look in my clothes, right? So I guess what my brain is gonna do find everybody that's smaller than me and point them out to me personally in the world and like oh look at her, look how cute she looks in her clothes. Oh her pants look really nice on her. Too bad. You don't look like that. You know like just more evidence, you know for for whatever your theory on life is. And I look at it, it's almost like your brains like facebook, right? You know how the algorithms change? It does sure if you're a woman, I feel like women's braids definitely works different but your brain has the same damn thing as facebook. It's just gonna keep putting things in front of you that whatever you said is true. So here you go. And my God, it's amazing how when we change that wording and we start looking for all the good things in the world and then we start changing like our inner, you know, the way we talk to ourselves and our inner dialogue, it's amazing how everything in front of us starts to change, because that's what we're looking for. And so if I start looking for all the amazing things in the world, in my worst moments of my life, I've now trained my brain and created a new habit and a new a new, you know, thought I want more evidence that the world is great and here it is. Every day I get multiple more than enough evidence to show me that this world is pretty. I almost said a bad word, awesome because there's something that Hollywood had to edit my show for the first time. I'm not going to do it, not going to do it. We get we get, well you're throwing down. I love that so much. Um, so I never, I never really thought of mindset as being mindset until I discovered the whole personal development realm once I got into business a few years ago. Um, but I, I knew what it was just in a very similar way of what you said when my mom got diagnosed, I never saw her cry. She cried, well, I'll take this back. She cried the day she got diagnosed. Um, And I remember, I was like, I would have been 10 and I was sitting on the steps and I heard her get the phone call that she had cancer and I knew she was waiting for it and she cried, she called my dad and she was crying. Um but when I came down the steps, she was not crying anymore. And then the next time I saw her cry was probably well it wasn't even from her cancer diagnosis, it was a surprise party we had for her birthday. Um and she cried and it was the only surprise, but it was the only birthday she'd ever had, and it was the year before she died, and I then cried because I had no idea that she had never had a party beside with, you know, besides the immediate family. Um but she was just always so positive and you know, we're gonna get through this and there was never, you know, one doctor would say that she wasn't gonna wasn't gonna make it or you know, whatever. And so then she found another doctor who did all these treatments and stuff and um You know, she lived 16 years battling cancer, all but five of that. Um she was in remission for five and it came back and then we've known other people, even family members who got a cancer diagnosis, and the first thing that they did was buy a hospital bed and take off work, and it's just the mindset of like, a lot of people don't even know my mom had cancer. She went um you know, she went to her chemo and she went back to work and like, just just seeing how, and I'm not saying that either way is a wrong way to cope with things. Um but I definitely think there's something to be said for that positivity and like, I'm not going to let certain obstacles bring me down, and we're going to keep pushing and fighting. And that was how I saw mindset without really knowing what mindset was growing up. Um, and I really like it can, it can make or break. I think your entire life, how you go through your entire life, if you go through it with a bad mindset, that's, that's so true. And it was really hard to not cry and here's what I like because I was a mom um of kids when I, I found out I had cancer and it was my only mission other than like not exit the planet or anything like that to make sure that their lives were not affected. I did not want them to even realize what was going on and they were little, obviously they were really little, but um, I never wanted them to feel like anything was crazy abnormal. And um, so I totally understand why your mom was like that and I'm sure she did have tears elsewhere. Um because just knowing myself and and as positive as I was, there was times when I just wanted to go off by myself and let all that out um because it is human nature to do that and to feel those feelings, but I didn't want my kids to see that. Um and I think that now they're older, we can talk about it and they know that I wasn't like super strong and happy and all that all the time because now we talk about that and we talk about like how that looked or whatever, but I really do think that there is something to be said for the way that you are looking at the world is the way the world is going to show up for you. And uh did you ever read that book, like The Secret back in the day? It is oh, it's an older side and there's a netflix documentary, right? Yeah. It's all about like kind of manifesting the things that you want or whatever. But I think the thing about that, that book and about that, that whole concept is truly like whatever you say, whatever you there's a quote, like whatever you can or can't do it, you're right. You know, like if you say you don't have enough time to start a side hustle, you're right. If you say that you're you are not good at talking to people, you're right. If you say that you can't lose weight and you've done everything you possibly could ever think about doing, you're probably right because you you don't have the mindset and even if you have to lie to yourself for a little while, which sometimes you do. I mean, I've done it to myself. I am confident. I'm confident as I'm shaking, you know, uh but you have to keep telling yourself those things. And the more you tell her yourself those things, the more you're going to your brain is going to present you evidence that you're like, oh yeah, I remember that one time I jumped off the stratosphere, I was super scared. But I did it anyway. I'm pretty damn confident in myself that I'm not, you know, that I can make good choices and things like that. And so it's like we it's it's a lot a lot of our world around us, whether it be health fitness, whether it be our our businesses that were growing, it's all it's our mind and it's our behaviour patterns. If we have behavior patterns that aren't supporting us, it's not that they're bad or good, there's not supporting us and the thing that we want to do next, it may have worked in our last life in our last chapter but it's not working now. So you've got upgrade just like the best phone on the planet has to be upgraded every now and then. I listening. No I don't work for Iphone but I really should because I support them. I know it's about time for an upgrade for me because everything is about my phone is running slow right? Everything is starting to go a little bit slower. It's not working as well. And now I've seen this like upgraded version, it's got a better camera, it's got more space, it's all these things. Why can't we upgrade ourselves a little bit? You know, a little bit? We deserve that. Yeah, well holly I appreciate your insight and sharing all your stories and everything so much in your time today. Um tell everyone how they can connect with you. Where can they find you? Um you can go to listen to the podcast at surviving life with holly dot com or you can go to my website at holly boys dot com. I hang out mostly on facebook and instagram. I am kind of big and Tiktok but I had to cut back on my Tiktok because I was forgetting to pick up my daughter from school because I was a joke. Yeah, yeah. You know, I don't even think I told you this. Do you know what I did? Um when I forgot to pick up my daughter from school because I was on tiktok looking at Tic Tac's, I made a tick talk about it and it was my all time favorite human Britney Spears. Oops, I did it again. And yes, no, viral. No, but I wish it would have, I have one that is viral for me. And it was the 90s dance video that I did with my daughter and her friend and there was like 24,000 views and my kids thought I was like awesome for like a second. And then they're like, it's just because the algorithm likes you and I'm like, no, it's because I'm amazing and my 13 year old daughter hates that. I'm on Tiktok because her friends think I'm motivational and yeah, so she doesn't like that. So I try to get on there often because of that. You're being a good mom mom, yep. Yeah, chick chuck. I'm on there somewhere. I don't even know what my name is. Honestly, I think it's holly boys for 11 or Hollywood fit. I don't know guys. I don't get all of them. Yes, I'll put them in the show notes for you, so you can just scroll down and click and find holly. Go, give her some love on some tic tacs. I I never let myself scroll through ticktock or I g reels and I did on saturday night. Do you guys have daylight savings time? Okay, we need to. So I did that on saturday night for an hour. I was up in my bed, it's like three in the morning because of the time change. I am like cracking up. Like this is why I always time on this, yep. The last time I was on there I spent two hours looking at free Britney spears material and I'm very well educated on the free Britney movement now because I accidentally spent some hours looking at it and I'm like, what did I just do? I'm so busy, I can't do this anymore. So I paused it for just a little bit. I'll go about my gosh, I got to find that documentary still. But okay guys, well, we will, we will cut it off here. Um have a great day, rest of your day if you're listening to this on the podcast and holly, thank you again so much for your time, I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Have a great one, guys. Thanks. Bye.