The Social Selling Sisterhood Podcast Episode 84- Be Careful Who You Call Leaders

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Yeah. Hi friend. Welcome to the social selling sisterhood podcast. I am Lindsay Dellinger and I have many titles. High school spanish teacher, dog mom, world traveler and direct seller. I empower women to run your direct sales business is the right way. So you can earn the money, you deserve to live the life of your dreams and travel the world. Now we got that out of the way, let's get started. Hey girl, hey, welcome back to another episode of the social selling sisterhood podcast. This is Lindsay Dellinger, the host of your show. Yes, I just said hey girl, yes, it's kind of ironic considering um you know, that's super frowned upon in our industry and social selling, but I do what I want, right? So you know I mean while um so I'm coming to you guys today, I actually heard this talked about and um bob highlights podcast, my virtual up line which I highly recommend if you if you don't listen to him um we kind of have the same philosophy is the same vibes on things except he's like male version. So he's the guy version. He brings a little bit of the masculine energy but honestly a lot in the feminine as well. So check his podcast out. But about a month ago I listened to a podcast he dropped about how you need to be careful using the word leader and I was just listening to it driving. You know, that's usually when I listen to my podcast um and it just really spoke to me. I was like yes yes, yes, yes. So I just got to thinking about how our culture, indirect sales and network marketing, how we use this word leader and what it really what it really should mean and what lots of times it ends up meaning. So I don't know um you know obviously how all the companies work and all the things, but I know in the companies that I have been a part of that a lot of times the word leader is used once you start building a team and here's the thing that I quickly realized and it's actually I started um kind of like reworking the way. Well, okay, let me, let me give me a little back story. So I had a chat for leaders on my team, quote unquote leaders on my team. And I started realizing and this is not to bash you want to be negative or anything like that, but I'm just telling you what happened, I started realizing that there were a handful of people who were who were actually what I consider to be a leader in the business. And then the large majority of the people who were in this chat were not, they were followers. They did not know the things about the business. They were not you know stepping up and doing the things that as a leader, as someone who was building my team who is serious about my business and serious about supporting my teammates. They just weren't willing to do um and it's not that they weren't able to do those things but it literally was they were not committed and they were not willing to do them. Which is fine, bye. I don't consider that leadership, I consider leadership to be the person who says I will lead the power our the working zoom. This week I will lead a book club. I can devote an hour a week to my business to lead those things. And in turn that our week is also me being visible to my teammates because here's the thing guys, if you are not being visible to your teammates and I don't mean in a chat, I am not counting a chat. I if you know me personally I loathe chats, chats are the bane of my existence. Like if I could do without messenger chats I would do it. Um I mean really showing up because there's a difference in someone who is getting in in the messages and then the person who is actually leading the team, leading your team zooms doing an impromptu training to share something that you have learned that you want to share with people. Um you know, posting about your business, on social media, on your personal profile and basically being the model because no one should have like I shouldn't have to hear you tell me, oh yeah I did this, this is for my business, I should be able to see it. And yes, there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes but there's a lot that goes on not behind the scenes. We are social sellers, right? We are all using social media for business. So if I can look and you you haven't posted a story or you have one story for the day. To me that is not working your business because you are not building a brand, you are not showing up. And if you're not showing up your your business is never gonna grow. It just isn't like I'm gonna tell you right now if you're not showing up, you're not committed, it's not going to grow. So anyway, going back to this leadership um and I pissed some people off. I did in our chat and I got defended. I got blocked. I got um nasty things said about me. I got called the B. Word. Um and all I did was ask for um you know the women in this leadership chat to step up and commit to leading one working zoom in the next month, which would be an hour of time which honestly I love leading them because it is an hour of time that I am forced to work my business and that's how my business grew. And I really truly believe yes you can work your business and little pockets of time, but I don't think you can create a sustainable actual business without devoting an hour a day. Like I I really do believe that and I will will say yes, you can build a side hustle but a side hustle is not the same thing as a sustainable um scalable business. That's another episode podcast for a different day. Yes, I'm laying it on hard today guys, I hope you appreciate this and I hope this speaks to you as well. But these are things that I have just really realized Honestly, like, I think I kind of knew them, but they just really kind of come to a head for me in 20, Um so anyway, you know, I people left this leadership chat and the only qualifications for those leadership chat to begin with or that you would sponsor to people under you. Um and quite frankly, I think that is a huge problem with direct sales, network marketing companies having ranks, because you think you get that new title and people start getting a really big head, like it's like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm a I'm a unicorn ranked purple Diamonds, like Yes, like, and some, some people if you're a recognition person like you really aim for that, like I'm a recognition person, I really aim for that, but I'm also really aiming for it because I want the income that comes with it, I know that I am helping other people grow businesses of their dreams, like it is a pure intention. Um but it can also be something that people like, okay, I've reached this rank, so I don't really have to do anything anymore, and that's not fair, it's not fair, and that's not what true leadership is. True leadership is creating systems and it is showing up for your team, for the people that you have sponsored personally. Um and you know, being willing, if if someone asks, hey will you lead x, Y Z, will you do an impromptu training for your team? And here's the other thing leadership is, and this has really been evident to me as I've started kind of taking a step back and really letting people like seeing who the actual leaders are real leaders don't have to be asked to do something And that's why I didn't really care that someone called me the B. Word and someone defended me and blocked me and did all these things because to me that shows not only your character, but it also shows me that you are not a leader, like 100% not a leader. And it also shows me that that probably me asking you to step up and lead something um you know, probably really rubbed you the wrong way because you're realizing that you're not a leader in your business. So um you know if you're getting to this point especially as you're growing a team um and maybe you have a large team already and you're feeling these frustrations creep up like I was you know, maybe it's time to take a step back and look at what your role in this because my role I was edifying and glorifying everyone as a leader. Oh, you sponsor someone, you're a leader. No, you're working your business and I shouldn't have to reward you. I shouldn't have to give you a high five for working your business. You are grown ass, adult woman or man, if you're listening to this um in your business owner and I shouldn't have to be like, oh my gosh, yes, you sold $100 this month. Yes, no, this is your business, like this is what you should be doing anyway, right? So I'm going and I have made this mental shift in edifying the people who are doing the things without being asked, who are going into my team space and doing a training. I can think off the top of my head of some people who say their leaders, I haven't seen their face on our team page, I don't know, maybe a year. So you know that to me that's not leadership and um I've I'm probably gonna get a lot of flak from people for for this, you know, this impromptu message today, but it's really been on my heart and I think that when you hear it and it pertains to you and you're like, oh crap, that's right, I haven't been doing those things, but yet I am considering myself a leader. You know, maybe it's time to consider like what do I actually really need to do? What do, what do I want if you don't want to be a leader, that's fine, but then don't consider yourself one. Don't participate in the leadership chats, don't, you know, don't act like you're something that you're not because that is something that I am really proud of is that I I will never act like something I am not now will I say I'm stepping into my next level self and I am already acting as though I am a unicorn, Purple diamond rank. Yes, but that is that's more of a motivational piece. That's more of a like me up leveling. But I'm never going to say that I'm that rank um that I'm a certain rank that I'm at and be taking and taking and taking from people and not giving because leadership is about giving, it is not about the taking. So if you're listening to this, if you are a leader and if you have not been giving, if you have not been stepping up and doing things without being asked sir, just start today. You know, post, post in your team space, um reach out to team members, organized something and do it because here's the thing, you're applying leaders or other people in your team, they're gonna get burned out as you know what? Because that's the space that I have been in honestly for the past year in my business is i it's exhausting having to ask people to step up and do things all the time when at some point you should just want to do that. And if you don't think maybe this business isn't for you and it's fine, it's totally fine. Or maybe it's a hobby and not a business, which is also totally fine. But it helps if you're clear about that, if you're clear about those intentions and you're clear about that to other people, otherwise you're going to attract a lot of people to your team who think that it's a business, think that by following your model, they will get business like results and you're just attracting a lot of people who are in the bad habits and the bad cycles that you're showing them. That it's OK if you're not showing up for team meetings, if you're not leading a team meeting, if you're not doing a power our showing up on power hours and you're going to attract a bunch of people who are not doing that as well and they're going to think it's OK and you will never have a sustainable business like that. I promise. Promise. Promise. So I encourage you to start thinking about the word leader. Does it pertain to you? Does it not pertain to you? How do you use it with your teams? Are you edifying people who are not actually leaders by calling them leaders? And where do you get to make that shift? And I'll tell you guys, it might not be fun and it's going to be uncomfortable. And it is something that I really struggled with honestly for about, Oh gosh, I don't even know how long before I finally in my team chat one day I was like, okay guys, here's the deal. Like if you're gonna stay in here, if you're gonna be privy to the information that a leader is privy to in this group and the support you got to start showing up because this is not a one man show this team is not the Lindsay team, right? This team is that everybody team. And I need to start knowing who I can actually count on for support and for doing the systems and contributing and doing all the things versus the people who are going to give me an excuse, my kids, this my work. This here's the thing. When you give those excuses, all you're doing is minimizing that the person that you are talking to does not have anything like that. And that's just straight up not true. Like my life is just as busy and crazy as yours is. Even if I don't have the kids, even if I don't have X, Y. Z, you have no idea what I spend my time on. I'm just choosing to be committed to my business and my team and I'm choosing to show up and you also can have that choice. You're choosing not to make it so step into that own that power and show up as a leader. I hope this was helpful. I hope you don't unsubscribe and delete me from this like some other people have done. But if you made it this far, I feel like you're on my vibe and you don't, once you step into that, once you step into really recognizing and becoming a leader yourself and recognizing and um building up those people who are true leaders on your team, not just someone who sponsored someone. Um you're going to start attracting the right people, you're going to start attracting business builders because there's going to be a clear difference between the people who are committed and are wanting to grow business versus the people who, this is just a hobby. And again, we need those people who, it's just a hobby on our teams for sure, but they're not leaders. Okay, so there's a big difference in that. And then the last thing I want to lead, you lead, lead, leave you with this is that you might also have people who are leaders on your team who have yet to sponsor someone. Don't leave those people out. Um, you know, if you have someone who is willing to do a training and sometimes, especially when people are newer, um, and or maybe lacking that confidence a little bit, it doesn't mean they're not a leader. You can still reach out to people, especially the first time and ask them, hey, your sales were amazing this month. Would you mind doing alive? Um, I think it's a huge red flag when you ask someone though and they tell, you know, there's some underlying reason, maybe they're just really scared of going live, that's fine. But if people are not willing to share, that's a scarcity mindset, that's totally something different. Um, but you can treat people as leaders even if they do not have a big team yet as up and coming leaders. However, on the flip side, it's a pretty big red flag if they have been given a substantial amount of time and they are not recruiting people not sponsoring people because our business, whether people want to believe it want to do it or whatever or not, you have to sponsor and recruit. I don't care what company are in. Um, or you don't have a business. So that is something else to think about as well. Um, so anyway, I hope this was helpful. I hope that this is going to start some good discussions. Um, or you know, even just some bats and meditating some journaling, um, to really examine yourself, your own role with your business and your team, but also other people on your team. Because going through this, um, really, really provided me with a lot of clarity on frustrations that I was having with a lot of my team members that quite honestly like, it wasn't fair of me to be doing that. It wasn't fair of me to be um, mad at people who weren't showing up and weren't volunteering because just because someone is a certain rank does not mean they're a leader, and that was just a huge, like, kind of, like, weight lifted off my shoulders when I'm like, okay, well, just because someone is a team leader, director or whatever on my team doesn't mean that they're a leader. So that's something that I really, especially if you have a team right now, especially if you're feeling frustrated and maybe you don't have a team, but you're just slowly starting to grow on. This is something that I wish I would have considered, and I wish I would have known before I started, you know, started celebrating everyone is a leader when they when they really aren't. So anyway, I'll stop blabbering now. Um if you got anything from this episode, please screenshot it, sharing your stories, share it with a friend, share it with someone who maybe needs a little tough love and has not been showing up and you know, they have the potential to but they're not because you know, sometimes we all need to hear that and I hope that this message came across in the right way and was just what you needed to hear today. Keep building those leadership skills, my friends and I will talk to you all very soon.