Passports, Profits and Pixie Dust Podcast

[INTERVIEW] with Becky Aste: The Power of Healing Trauma in Relationships for Your Business Breakthrough

Published on January 7, 2026

Nervous System Repair for Business Breakthroughs (and Marriage Healing) with Becky Aste

Meet Becky Aste: Trauma-Informed Marriage Coach + Nervous System Guide

Today’s guest is Becky Aste, a trauma-informed marriage coach who helps deeply committed—but emotionally exhausted—wives save their marriage by learning how to move trauma out of their body.

And Becky doesn’t teach from a “my marriage has always been perfect” pedestal.

She teaches from lived experience.

Becky and her husband married young. They had beautiful seasons… and also seasons that felt painfully heavy: a toxic cycle of codependency, addiction, and constant emotional whiplash. Ten years in (and two kids later), they found themselves separated and on the verge of divorce.

They tried everything:

therapy
couples counseling
EMDR
books
podcasts
marriage retreats

And somehow, they felt worse than when they started.

Until Becky stumbled into what she called a “buzzer beater game changer”: an eight-week course that taught her how to restore connection, trust, and intimacy by working with trauma through the body.

That eight-week experience changed everything.

Her husband moved back in. They reconciled. They finally had the hard conversations they’d avoided for years. And slowly—but powerfully—they rebuilt something stronger than before.

Now Becky helps other women shorten the timeline, skip unnecessary heartache, and reclaim their relationship (and themselves).

What Becky Offers Today

Becky now runs a six-month group coaching program—a supportive container with group coaching plus one-on-one additions inside the program.

Her work helps women:

create safety in their body
build emotional literacy
learn how to properly grieve
communicate so their husband truly hears them
strengthen intuition and inner trust
heal on a subconscious level

One of the core concepts behind her program comes from the book The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk—because the truth is:

Your body remembers what your mind tries to move past.

And unresolved trauma can create invisible barriers between you and:

your spouse
your confidence
your creativity
your goals
your business breakthroughs

Trauma Isn’t Always “Big”—Here’s the Real Definition

One of my favorite parts of this conversation was when we broke down trauma in a way that makes so much sense (especially if you’ve always thought trauma only meant something huge and obvious).

Becky shared that there are:

Big T traumas (major events that threaten your safety—too much, too fast, too soon)
Little t traumas (slow damage over time—“death by a thousand paper cuts”)

And then she dropped the definition that can change everything:

Trauma is anything that overwhelms your nervous system’s ability to cope.

So yes—sometimes it’s a major event.

But sometimes it’s:

emotional neglect
repeated invalidation
low-level psychological pressure over years
being told your emotions are “too much”
constant “just toughen up” messaging
subtle, ongoing environments where you don’t feel safe to be fully yourself

That’s why so many women struggle to identify it—because it can be quiet, sneaky, and normalized.

Why “Safety in Your Body” Comes First

Becky described nervous system healing as learning how to come home to yourself.

When you’ve experienced trauma, your body can stay stuck in survival mode:

fight
flight
freeze
fawn (the least talked about—often shows up as people-pleasing)

None of these are “bad.” They’re your body trying to protect you.

But the problem comes when you’re stuck in that state long-term—because modern life doesn’t teach us how to release trauma from the body. We’re sedentary, overstimulated, glued to screens, and often disconnected from natural ways humans regulate (movement, rhythm, dance, breath, community).

The goal isn’t to never feel triggered.

The goal is learning how to return to safety and regulate back to calm.

How Your Nervous System Blocks Business Breakthroughs

This part was so powerful—because yes, Becky focuses on marriage, but what she explained applies directly to business growth too.

When you’re stuck in survival mode (sympathetic nervous system), it can literally shut down:

creativity
future vision
possibility thinking
grounded decision-making
confidence and expansion

Becky shared that many women can describe everything going wrong in their marriage (or business) in detail…

But when asked where they want to go?

It’s like deer in headlights.

Because survival brain can’t access vision the same way.

And business requires vision.

Two Quick Grounding Tools You Can Use Today

Becky shared some simple tools that help shift your nervous system from survival into safety.

1) The 5 Senses Reset

In a moment of anxiety or overwhelm:

Name 5 things you see
4 things you hear
3 things you can touch
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste

This pulls you out of spiraling thoughts and back into your body—fast.

2) “Chalk Outline” Visualization

Lie down and imagine someone tracing the outline of your body with chalk—like the classic sidewalk outline visual.

This builds proprioception (awareness of your body in space) and can help you regulate quickly, especially if visualization works well for you.

The Vagus Nerve, Visualization, and Why “Neck Up” Work Isn’t Enough

We also talked about why visualization and affirmations sometimes feel like they work… and sometimes don’t.

Becky explained it through the vagus nerve:

20% of messages travel from brain → body
80% of messages travel from body → brain

So if you’re only doing “neck up” growth (talking, thinking, learning, affirmations) without working through the body, it can feel like swimming upstream.

But when you pair mindset work with body-based regulation (like grounding, EFT tapping, or somatic practices)… it can superpower everything.

Becky’s Business Journey (and Her Network Marketing Background)

Becky also shared that she came from a network marketing background—so many of the skills transferred:

going live
leading
teaching
showing up consistently
communicating on camera

But she reached a point where she had to choose the path that felt most aligned.

She started her program as a beta round (super discounted) to collect proof and testimonials—then watched women transform so powerfully that it moved her from imposter syndrome to confidence.

Productivity, Burnout, and the “Ruthless Elimination of Hurry”

We also talked about productivity—because if you’ve listened to this show for a while, you know I love systems and strategy.

Becky shared that she now uses Google Calendar as her anchor (especially as a mom of two), and she’s still undoing the hustle conditioning she lived in for years.

One of her newest “guardrails” is simple but powerful:

Daily gratitudes + anchoring wins.

She noticed something fascinating:
Sometimes the days she rests the most…
are the days the most opportunities appear.

Which, honestly, is such a reminder that expansion doesn’t always come from pushing harder.

Can You Save a Marriage If Your Husband Isn’t On Board?

This was one of the most asked questions—so I’m glad we talked about it.

Becky doesn’t currently bring men into the program, but women can share modules with their husbands if they want.

And here’s the empowering part:

You can shift a marriage even if your husband isn’t on board at the beginning.

Many women believe:
“I can’t change this if he won’t try.”

But Becky shared that when you change your energy, nervous system responses, and subconscious patterns… you can shift the “dance” in the relationship without forcing someone else to change first.

Rapid Fire Fun

Before we wrapped:

Routine right now: ideal = both, reality = none (because kids 😂)
Favorite book: The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
Favorite vacation: Honeymoon in Punta Cana (RIU Palace / RIU Palacio)

And yes—this May weather conversation happened too because WHY is it 42 and raining when it’s supposed to be spring? 😩

Connect with Becky

Becky’s favorite platform is Instagram, and she’s in DMs daily “trying to respond like a real human.” (Loved that.)

She offers her signature six-month container for married women, and she also has a masterclass coming up May 16th at 12 noon (depending on when this episode airs—check her links for the most current info).

📌 All links will be in the show notes so you can connect easily.

Final Thoughts

This episode is such a reminder that nervous system healing isn’t just “woo.”

It’s real. It’s practical. And it can unlock breakthroughs in every area of your life—your marriage, your confidence, your relationships, your creativity, and yes… even your business.

Because when you feel safe in your body, you can finally access:

vision
clarity
courage
capacity
and the next-level version of you

And that? That’s pixie dust.

If this episode helped you, screenshot it and send it to a girlfriend who needs it. And if you’re feeling extra generous, share it to your IG stories and tag me @lindsaydollinger so I can tell you thank you.

Now go do some amazing things. ✨

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